This is just one of the stories that have come to Movement for an Adoption Apology from individuals affected by the adoption process.
Each one’s experience is unique and different. We cannot ‘compare’ stories but we can listen to each other.
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My sister died in 1987. She was 17 when she became pregnant in 1962. She met the baby’s father whilst on holiday in Spain.
The GP and social worker had a meeting with her and my parents at our home. I was listening in my bedroom overhead. I had been the first to know about the pregnancy. She was offered no choice but to resign from her work and was sent to a Methodist mother and baby home in south London. As we were not on the telephone, contact was minimal. My parents wouldn’t talk about her, but when she was about 32 weeks pregnant my mother took me to London to see her. Going there and back my mother didn’t talk about the situation.
My sister was alone when she had a forceps delivery. She brought her son back to the home where she, along with others, was forced to care for him for six weeks. The adoptive parents came to the home to take him away. She had to hand him over to the staff.
A fellow resident took a photograph of the baby (which wasn’t allowed). However, the home managers sent her a photo one year later to reassure her that he was well and happy. I saw these photos. I do not think my parents did.
I heard that the father’s family wrote to my parents saying that they wished to have the baby. These letters were not shown to my sister. I have been told that my father wrote back stating that they did not want any contact. I believe that this is because they were Catholic. I am not sure.
Unfortunately my nephew tried to make contact with my sister in 1988, but my sister had died the year before. Her three children, as they were grieving, were not in a fit state to take on board this development and so declined to follow this up. I would have liked to have met my nephew and often think of him when I am in south London.
Name and details withheld on request